Seeking Out My Sins

Just a few months ago I asked the Lord to reveal my sins to me (risky, I know). Being the prideful person that I am, I thought the search for my sins would take awhile. Because of course, my sins would be hard to find - right? NOPE! Right here, staring me in the face, moment by moment I find PRIDE. Aggh!

But He gives a greater grace Therefore it says,
" GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE." - James 4:6

Okay, I'm thankful to have my eyes opened, but my goodness it hurts and (because of my pride) it's embarrassing. Have I been this prideful my whole life? Yuk!

I've also realized that my pride is most evident around my mother. Does anyone else have this problem? Let's say that I've lost something. My mom could ask me an innocent question like, "Did you check in the car?" I instantly bristle and think to myself, "Of course I checked in the car - that was the first place I looked! What? Do you think I'm stupid?" Then, my friend could ask the exact same question with the same tone of voice and my answer would be a simple, "Yes", without all of the emotional baggage attached. What is up with that? I hate it. I've hated it all of my adult years, but now it bothers me more because I finally recognize it as sin - Aggh! The sin of pride.

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel. - Proverbs 12:15

One thing that has been helping me to recognize pride in my life is a list from Nancy Leigh DeMoss entitled "41 Evidences of Pride". Here are 16 of them:

1. Do you look down on those who are less educated, less affluent, less refined, or less successful than yourself?

2. Do you think of yourself as more spiritual than your mate, others in your church? Do you think of yourself as more spiritual than other believers you know?

3. Do you have a judgmental spirit toward those who don’t make the same lifestyle choices you do . . . dress standards, how you school your kids, entertainment standards, etc.? Now maybe you don't think you do. If you wonder on some of these, you may want to go ask somebody who knows you really well. "Do I come across that way, as having a judgmental spirit toward those who have different lifestyle choices than I do?"

4. Are you quick to find fault with others and to verbalize those thoughts to others? Do you have a sharp, critical tongue? We would call it discerning, analytical.

5. Do you frequently interrupt people when they are speaking? What we are saying when we interrupt is that what I have to say is more important than what you have to say. It's pride.

6. Do you frequently correct or criticize your mate, your pastor, or other people in positions of leadership (teachers, youth director, etc.)? Think about the people who are involved in your life, people in leadership.

7. Do you often complain about the weather, your health, your circumstances, your neighbors, your job, church? Complaining. How's that pride? You think you deserve better. It shouldn't be happening to me.

8. Are you proud of the schedule you keep, how disciplined you are, how much you are able to accomplish?

9. Are you driven to receive approval, praise, or acceptance from others? Do you get hurt if your accomplishments/or acts of service are not recognized or rewarded?

10. Do you worry about what others think of you? About your reputation or your family's reputation? By the way, that's one thing that motivates a lot of parenting, isn't it? With mothers, "What are people going to think if my child is this way?" That can be pride.

11. Do you generally think your way is the right way, the only way, or the best way? Think about how you go about cleaning up your kitchen (or whatever) and then your spouse comes along and he/she does it differently. Is your way the right way?



12. Do you have a touchy, sensitive spirit? Easily offended? Get your feelings hurt easily?

13. Do you have a hard time admitting when you are wrong?

14. Do you have a hard time confessing your sin to God or others? (not just in generalities but specifics) We all say I need to be a better woman. I need to love the Lord more. I need to read my Bible more. But when it comes to the specific issues. "I'm in love with food. I'm in love with television. I love entertainment more than I love God".

15. Do you become defensive when you are criticized or corrected? That anger that wells up. What is that? That's a fruit that grows on the root of pride. Why do we get angry when somebody criticizes us? We may not express it outwardly, but inwardly. Because our pride gets hurt.



16. Are you sitting here thinking how many of these questions apply to someone you know? feeling pretty good that none of these things really apply to you?

Isn't it crazy? Every time I turn around these days I see my prideful heart acting and reacting to all of life. My heart has been this way for almost 40 years and I'm just now beginning to see it. If you'd like the more exhaustive list of evidences of pride, click here.

I've always thought of myself as pretty obedient to scripture and therefore not that big of a sinner (as if there are big and small sinners in God's eyes). I've "prided myself" in thinking that I've NEVER done any of the BIGGIES anyway. Well, since that fateful day, when I prayed that fateful prayer asking God to open my eyes to my sins, I've been amazed at the "Biggies" I'm guilty of. Here's one example from a quiet time recently:

You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. - James 4:4

Adulteress? What? Okay - that's a biggie!! Oh, there are so many times that I am a friend to the world. I am so thankful for Jesus when I read that verse. Without Him I am an enemy of God. As these truths have been revealed to me, I have been dying inside. I've been sad, overwhelmed, and downright humbled over the extent of my pride. Yet because of His mercy, I am not feeling discouraged even though more and more sin is being revealed to me.

And to further expand my idea of what sin is, I've been memorizing the following verse.

Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin. - James 4:17

Wow - this comes in to play with parenting just about every hour. I mean, I know I should get up from whatever I'm doing and go resolve a conflict or discipline a disobedient child. But instead, I choose to keep doing what's important to me at the moment. Is it sin? Yep!

The Lord has been faithful to answer my prayer and continues to reveal my sins to me (#8, #9, and #10 above are prevalent in my life). The more I realize that my heart is only evil continually (Gen 6:5), the more thankful I become for God's truly amazing grace. My worship has become deeper, more real, and more important to me as my sins have been revealed. How sweet is that?

No More Muddy Swingsets

For this week's WFMW (Works For Me Wednesday) I'll share something that I implemented just this summer.

I love for my kids to go outside and play on the swings or the trampoline. However, after a good rain, encouraging them to play on the swings can be like asking for them to go play in the mud. I've found a wonderful solution! These mats keep the kids out of the mud and therefore keep the mud out of my house!!






The mats that you see in these pictures can be purchased at any Home Improvement Warehouse or Sam's Club. They are called anti-fatigue floor mats. If you are patient, you can use an Exacto-Knife or other razor type cutter and slice them into appropriate sizes for your outdoor play equipment. I don't even hesitate to send my kids out after a rain now.

Oh, one more thing, the mower doesn't pick them up. I just mow right over them. Hope this helps you as much as it has helped me!

For more great Works For Me Wednesday ideas visit Sharon at Rocks in My Dryer.

Acorns in the Bathroom

Our family just returned from a 3-day camping trip. All six of us slept in the same tent. I can handle tent camping when the campground has electricity and public restrooms with showers (very unlike where Dennis is going).

There is one thing from our trip that I just have to share, even though I suppose it is rated PG.

Okay. So as Austin(3) and I are walking to the restroom, he is collecting acorns. We are discussing how some of the acorns still have hats on them, how squirrels like to bury them, etc. I'm thoroughly enjoying being able to give him (and his interest in these acorns) my full attention. Being the fourth, Austin seldom gets my full attention.

Anyway, we get to the bathroom (acorns in hand) and step into the second of four stalls. Austin, before getting up on the potty, looks up at me and says, "Look at my nuts mommy!"

I grin to myself, trying hard to remember if there is anyone else in the bathroom. Then he says, "Aren't they cute?" I'm starting to chuckle inside when he innocently adds, "Would you hold them please?"

Had I been at home, caught up in the busy-ness of life, I know that the humor would have escaped me. I'm glad Austin had my full attention so I could smile at the little innocent words he said about his acorns in the bathroom.